Andy’s Widower Blog

It’s just over 1 year into the COVID-19 pandemic and since I haven’t written anything in a while I thought I’d reflect on the last year. Where to begin? Year of great learning? Yes. Year from hell? Yes. Year full of good things? Also yes. For me, living through a pandemic has involved many of […]

I have been thinking about how Julia would react in a time like this. So, I wanted to write something about Julia’s hypothetical thoughts on the pandemic. I do this with a bit of trepidation, because it’s guesswork, and others who know her may disagree with the representation. But I wanted to try to apply […]

I’m feeling slightly warm. My heart is racing. Yes, I think I’m burning up. My stomach is feeling a bit queasy. Is this a fever? Do I have… I’m having chest pains. Sometimes, it seems to get worse when I breathe. I remember reading about those CT scans of the lungs that look like there’s […]

I used to think confidence was just something you were born with. I never felt like a very confident person. I second-guessed myself a lot – always worried I’d make the wrong decision. I used to think that was just the way I was. Which was fine – I had other gifts and talents. I […]

Happy 2020! Like last year I’m posting this well after the 3 year anniversary of Julia’s death on December 21st. Like every year, we had a couple of gatherings at Julia’s grave – one with friends and one with family – to remember her and her impact on our lives, pray, and sing. The delay […]

Today I want to talk about positive thinking. By this, I mean something quite specific. I’m not referring to research findings from positive psychology about how to create positive emotions. This is extremely important, as I’ll cover. Rather, I’m talking about the positive thinking that comes from pop psychology and self-help books which teach you […]

Making resolutions feels strange after experiencing deep loss. Any sort of planning or dreaming – is there any point when you know more of life’s vicissitudes could be around the corner? You tried to dream once, of a life filled with children, family vacations, visits to grandparents, kids off to college, retirement – together. Now she’s gone and […]

Happy new year, folks! I hope you’ve all started off well with crushing those resolutions. I know I have, because one of my big ones is to write more! More on my resolutions in another blog post that will follow in the next few days. For now, I’m going to share some reflections on where […]

Today, July 4th, 2018, would be Julia’s 30th birthday. Though we still celebrate Julia, as we should, on this day, it’s no longer her birthday. Or at least, it’s no longer the day on which she transitions from one age to the next. She is now ageless. For her, time has disappeared, like a road […]

Major life events change you. I’m not sure if this is a controversial statement or not but I get the sense that many people don’t want to believe it. Many people are uncomfortable with the idea that you can’t always be 100% in control of your identity. Many people think that you can always choose who you […]