I’m feeling slightly warm. My heart is racing. Yes, I think I’m burning up. My stomach is feeling a bit queasy. Is this a fever? Do I have…
I’m having chest pains. Sometimes, it seems to get worse when I breathe. I remember reading about those CT scans of the lungs that look like there’s glass in them. Is this pneumonia? Do I have…No, I don’t have Covid-19. I have health anxiety.
I’m not sure exactly when it started. I was always a bit of an anxious person. When I was a child I was so scared of being stung by a bee that I stayed inside for a whole summer (self-isolation before it was cool). But I don’t remember this anxiety being specifically related to health issues. I was a bit of a germophobe. But I wasn’t fearful of contracting a virus, or diabetes, or…cancer. At least, not until my wife got it.
Since my late wife Julia’s journey with, and death from, cancer, I’m more fearful of illness. It’s never been crippling. I’ve never self-isolated inside my house for any non-government-imposed reason. It’s never halted my life, as I know it has for some people. But it’s there.
With anxiety, it’s often hard to know what symptoms are related to the anxiety because they can be so varied and common to other conditions. But as far as my doctor and I can tell, my most common symptoms are feeling light-headed, chest pains, and a tingling sensation in my limbs. These symptoms come and go — sometimes I might not experience one for a couple of months.
They’re also not always related to health and illness. I often get anxious when I have a big decision to make. Last year, when I was struggling with whether or not to go back to school, my anxiety was as bad as it’s ever been. I had pretty constant tingling in my arms and legs, my throat often felt very constricted, and I’d feel short of breath at times.
I had such severe chest pains in one instance that I thought I might be having a heart issue so I went to the ER. After the tests, the doctor said my heart was fine but my blood pressure was 170/90. So, he did a pile of other tests that all came back normal. “You’re completely healthy,” he said. “You’re just stressed. Just try to relax a bit.”
“Try to relax.” Seems so simple.
Impossible to Escape
The coronavirus pandemic is something that most of us have never experienced. A worldwide pandemic of this proportion has not taken place since at least the 1950s. There is heightened fear and anxiety everywhere because of the novelty and scale of the coronavirus.
For those of us with health anxiety, this situation is akin to the scene in Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark when Indiana Jones, who is famously terrified of snakes, is thrown into a pit of slithering vipers.
The news coverage is constantly focusing on the most panic-inducing aspects of this crisis. For me, one of them is the Covid-19 symptom of feeling breathless.
Julia moved into palliative care mainly because the cancer was attacking her lungs. One image that is imprinted in my mind is of Julia, in the palliative care stage at her parents’ house, in a morphine-induced sleep, oxygen turned up all the way but still struggling for breath. Thankfully, the morphine kept her feeling comfortable, but the sight of her struggling for breath will stay with me forever.
Thinking about the countless people suffering from this symptom right now can be overwhelming.
Some might ask: can’t I simply avoid paying attention to the news? Usually, that would work. But the coronavirus is something completely different. It’s impossible to escape. It’s all anyone is talking about.
When you FaceTime your friends, they’re talking about the coronavirus. When you open your email, there are dozens of emails from businesses stating their coronavirus-related policies. When you go to the grocery store, there are people with masks and cashiers with gloves on. When you go for a walk, people keep their distance from each other.
This virus is like the wind — you can’t see it, but you can see the effects of it everywhere you go.
And for most, avoiding contact with the outside world is neither feasible nor helpful at the moment. I know social distancing is necessary right now, but it’s not good for anxious people to go without any human interaction for the next several months as we deal with this pandemic. Adding loneliness to health anxiety could be a deadly combination.
Social Distance, but Be Social
So, what can you do for relief if you have health anxiety in this time? There are all the usual suspects: meditation, eating healthy, exercising, video chatting with friends.
Some other social distancing-friendly (but still social) practices that I’ve found helpful during this time:
- Staying off social media as much as possible, especially Twitter (get an app or chrome extension such as StayFocusd) — keep contact with friends via WhatsApp or video chat
- Only read enough news to keep yourself and others safe
- Do some online exercise videos with friends via video chat, such as this yoga program
- Max of one coffee and one alcoholic drink per day (both bad for anxiety and it’s so easy to drink a lot when you’re inside all day)
- Walk with friends (staying 2 metres apart)
- Watch a movie with friends with the Netflix Party extension
However you can, stay connected with your friends and family. It will take more work during this pandemic, but it’s necessary if you struggle with anxiety.
I actually consider myself lucky. My health anxiety was almost completely under control before the coronavirus. It came back with a vengeance in the first days of societal lock-down, but I’ve since been able to manage it fairly well since. I’ve been able to go to the grocery store without too much anxiety.
I am more concerned about those with severe health anxiety, especially those who may have a reduced income and need to pay for medication. These people need extra support right now.
If you suspect someone in your life has health anxiety, please check up on them. Maybe pick up some groceries for them. FaceTime them.
And when you do, maybe don’t talk about the coronavirus. They could use a break from it all.
Get more content to your inbox. Subscribe!